Second Best
by Hellsleprechaun
Summary: If Edward had never returned and Bella had decided to be with Jacob to try and make him happy, would it have worked? Jacob's thoughts on how her decision would have effected him.


**I do not own the twilight saga, it belongs to Stephanie Meyer.**

When Bella agreed to give him a chance, it was the happiest day of his life. Finally she had given up waiting for the bloodsucker and was going to let him make her happy. He knew that he would give her a good life, he could make her laugh, he'd never make her cry and they could spend their lives together. It should have been perfect, and for a while it was.

It was only a month or so into their relationship that he saw the first crack, a crack he could not paper over, no matter how hard he tried. They were watching some dumb TV show when a guy came on, he said his name was Edward, as soon as she heard his name, her arms wrapped tightly around her chest and she hissed.

"Turn it off. Jacob please, just… turn it off." She begged.

He had complied and pulled her into his arms, she had leaned into him and allowed him to comfort her. A nasty little voice in the back of his mind spoke up, _she wishes it was him._

They had been together for little over a year when she told him that she was ready, he had been thrilled, he was going to lose his virginity to the girl he loved, she wanted him, _him_, not that bloodsucker.

It was going well, nothing embarrassing or awkward but then he was filled with horror as, as she climaxed, she breathed "Edward!"

He pretended not to have noticed, and she pretended not to have noticed that he'd noticed. That set the premise for their entire relationship, he would later muse.

Their wedding day should have been the happiest of his life, she was gorgeous as Charlie walked her down the aisle, she even managed not to trip.

The grin he was wearing stretched his whole face until his jaw ached, but he could not stop. He felt like he was on fire, like there was nothing keeping him on the ground, he felt he could do anything.

He lifted her veil and saw her face properly, she smiled at him, and to anyone else, she was a nervous but overjoyed bride. But he gazed into her eyes and saw the reluctance, the pain and the loss. She spoke her vows coldly, she sounded like the zombie again, if he had glanced over to Charlie, he would have seen the alarm plastered across his face.

The kiss they shared after the vows were spoken was brief and almost forced.

_She wishes it was him._

Even after ten years of marriage it was still there, after two children and three pets, it had not gone away. He had always told himself that one day she would stop loving the vampire and realise that he was gone, but he was still with her, he had always stood by her and had waited for years for her to love him. It had been ten years and he was beginning to see that she did love him, she truly loved him, she would kill and die for him, she would sell her soul for her children, but it would never be enough to block out the over-powering, addictive, _obsessive _love for the bloodsucker.

Some days she would be deep in thought, staring out of a window, or pausing in the middle of reading a good book, and this strange expression would creep across her face. He would know that she was thinking of him. God how he hated him, the monster, the killer who had poisoned her mind until she loved him, promised her heaven and then left her behind.

It was not only he who knew the truth, Charlie knew, Billy knew, hell the entire pack knew. He would hear it in their thoughts every time he thought of her,

_she doesn't really love you._

_She's using you._

_She's still in love with the bloodsucker._

_You're as stupid as she is, she's pointlessly in love with a vampire and you're pointlessly in love with her._

_You could do better, Jake._

It had led to countless, bitter and almost violent arguments. It was a topic that they had all had to learn not to think about.

He thought back to his younger self with a ridicule that occasionally bordered on hatred. He had been so naïve, to think that the kind of love Bella had held for Edward would ever go away, that she would ever stop praying for him to return. It had been foolish to ever assume that he could make the depressed, abandoned girl happy again, he never stood a chance.

He loved Bella, he had since the day they met again as teenagers on the beach, and it was killing him. He should have listened to his father, his friends and Leah, they had all warned him.

Everyday he watched his wife as she yearned for Edward and hoped for his return, and, ironically, after rejoicing when the Cullen's left, he found himself doing the same.

**The end.**

**There is no real point to this, it's just something I have been thinking about for a while. **

**Please review.**


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